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W magazine
um. amazing.
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and i wonder, do you remember me after all this time?
unknown
We grew up in the same neighborhood. We never hung out because our neighborhood groups never seemed to come together. I only knew you as one of the neighborhood boys. It wasn’t until high school that the way I saw you changed. I was a sophomore and you were a senior. I don’t know what it was. Your height? You always towered over everyone. Or how quiet you seemed when you were hanging out with your friends during break? I used to make my group of friends stand near your group, that way I could sneak glances at you. But I wasn't slick. You’d catch me staring and when our eyes would meet, my heart would skip a beat and my cheeks would burn. Then after months of always staring from a distance, I was in desperate need of a ride home because my sister had to go to ballet practice and I didn’t know which school bus went to my neighborhood. So, you offered. And the whole ride there, I stared out the window, paralyzed with fear. Fear of how I felt. Fear of saying something utterly ridiculous and ruining any tiny chance I had for you to notice me as more than that girl who lives in the same neighborhood. You asked me vague questions. Isn't your sister _____? What kind of music do you like? Is this radio station okay? When you dropped me off at my house, I quickly said 'thank you' and ran inside. We never talked again after that. Never acknowledged each other in the hallways or at break. It was like it never happened. But my feelings still remained.
You and my best friend had the same class. I would wait for her to get out so we could go to our next class together. I would make sure I never looked your way because I didn't want you to think I was waiting there because of you. One day, I was waiting and suddenly my best friend comes running out of class, grabs me and drags me away from everybody. She tells me that she has something to tell me but I can't freak out. At this point, I assume the worse. You know and you've told everybody that I'm a pathetic lower classmen who's in love with you. Was I that obvious? But my best friend tells me to relax; the news is good. She tells me you came up to her in class and asked about me. Were her and I best friends? Was I cool? What was I like? Did I have a boyfriend? I don't know how I didn't just drop dead right then and there and float off to heaven after hearing that.
I started noticing you notice me. I'd catch you staring at me more than you'd catch me staring at you. But still, I never did anything. And you never did anything. I was sure you asking about me meant there was some interest. I'd dream that one day you were going to come up to me in school, in front of everyone, and ask me out. Or you'd ring my doorbell and be there on my porch. It neared the end of the school year and I'd try desperately to muster any courage to talk to you but I couldn't. I was sixteen, not confident, and utterly in to you. I didn't want any other guy, period. Essentially, you were my Jake Ryan and I was Molly Ringwald, pining for you.
You graduated and I never saw you again. It's been 8 years and I still think about you. Sometimes I think I'm crazy to hold on to my feelings for you. When it comes down to it, I don't even know you. We talked once in all the years of existing around each other. So why do I still want you? Why do I still want to get to know you? Is it because there's the possibility of 'what if'? Is it because you're a fantasy I can sometimes revert to when I'm feeling sad and lonely? You have a hold on me that I've tried shaking for years.
And I wonder, do you remember me after all this time?
allure
style magnolia | candice lake
i am drawn to every bit of this look. the color of the coat is fantastic!
Get The Look: Ashley
1. Equipment Signature Blouse
2. Calvin Klein Underwear Envy Lace Triangle Bra
3. Tibi Ankle Pants
4. Juicy Couture Drop Shape Cluster Ring
5. Linea Pelle Perforated Hip Belt
6. Modern Vintage Shoes Maria T Strap Wedge Sandals
BREEZY
1. TEXTILE Elizabeth & James Sid Denim Jacket
2. T by Alexander Wang Classic Tank with Pocket
3. Jerome Dreyfuss Momo Clutch
4. Doo.Ri Maxi Trousers
5. Nixon Oversized Time Teller Watch
6. Deborah Lippman nail polish in 'Supermodel'
7. Elizabeth and James Boca Platform Sandals
is it too late for me?
unknown
I've always been a free spirit. I am constantly looking for something fun and new. If I get bored or restricted, I run. I've never thought of myself as a slut/whore, but someone who likes to do what they want when they want with who they want. I rarely think about the consequences and like to go with what I feel at the time. I never go out looking for trouble, but trouble always seems to find me, and trouble always comes in the form of a boy. I have no problems attracting attention from the opposite sex. It's just that it's never the "right" attention. A typical night out would be my friends and I at a bar/club and a cute boy buying me drinks and dancing with me. For me, it's all about chemistry. It's either there or it's not. Unfortunately, the initial spark between myself and a male always just leads to sex and nothing more.
Looking back, I have been with many guys and unfortunately none of them have been meaningful. I never have usually hooked up with anyone for more than a month or so. When I do develop feelings, I try my best to hide them in fear of being rejected (because most guys don't want relationships). I have been told by several guys that I've been with that they like me because I'm a girl who just "likes to have fun." I am a fun and easy going person and that's what people like about me, but does this mean that I can't be in a relationship?
I am scared that I will never love or truly be loved. I have been in one relationship where I hurt my boyfriend of the time very badly. Perhaps this is karma. I was young, stupid, and selfish. I just turned 23. Recently, I have been feeling more alone than ever. I have great girl friends, but none of them seem to really understand what I feel. Guys that I'm attracted to and who I also in turn attract are always those who are never emotionally available. One guy that I was hooking up with for awhile that I started developing feelings for a couple years ago even told me that I am not "girlfriend material."
Perhaps I am evolving and I do want something more stable, because I've never been a part of something real. I know I stopped myself before from liking/loving someone because I have a fear of them leaving me or hurting me, but now I am even open to that possibility. Is it too late for me? Everyone already sees me as "the fun girl" so how do I change? How do I attract the right type of guys who are willing to love me for me?
-E
how do you stop punishing yourself
weheartit
We've all been hurt. i'm just like everyone else. typical story of girl meets guy they get on amazingly. Guy has girlfriend, Guy cheats on Girlfriend with girl.
Girl and guy become best friends. Girl falls in love with guy. Guy promises to leave girlfriend for girl but it's all false promises. Girl gets hurt.
This happened to me. But i don't want to talk about that. I'm over him. What i want to know, now that i'm over him when do i get over what he did to me?
It's almost been a year now. a since i stopped thinking about the guy, josh. Its been almost a year since i met sam.
I met Sam one night through a friend, we spent the whole night together, drinking, laughing the usual. He was clear from the start, he didn't 'do' relationships.
I was ok with this. I still wanted Josh but it was becoming clearer and clearer as our friendship was fading more and more that it was never going to happen.
This continued to hurt, so i thought why not have some fun on the side with sam.
As i got to know Sam, we became closer and closer. We spent some amazing nights together, some full of passion and some where we would spend hours talking
and getting to know each other. I was growing to really like Sam and Josh barely ever thought about.
Sam and i talked about past relationships, he had no shame in telling me about how he's cheated and doesn't like being tied down.
I fell in love with Sam. By this point it'd already been admitted that he was in love with me and was just waiting for me to reciprocate the feeling before we
considered a relationship.
It was only about 2 months ago that i realised how much i loved Sam. It was the scariest relisation of my entire life. The only person i had ever loved like this was Josh
and that truly destroyed me, i never realised just how much until now.
Before i explain, i just want you to know that i know how utterly ridiculous i'm being but i just can't help it.
I simply cannot trust sam. and it's hurting me, not him, me. I keeping waiting for him to turn around and realise he doesn't want me, the same way josh did.
After we hang out i keep thinking, that's it we're over or we wont talk for months because that's how josh always treated me.
If Sam does anything slightly wrong, I get so emotional, i believe that its over and he's deliberately trying to hurt me and i sometimes cry for hours, over something which
turns out to be absolutely nothing. It's all because of josh, because i showed him everything and if he didn't like it and could discard it so easily why would anybody else want me.
This isn't meant to be a self pity story. i just want to know how do you stop punishing yourself, for what someone did to you?
Isma - Le Marais - Paris
" ... My name is Isma. I study communication and I work
for Dirty Glam Magazine. For me Fashion is to show
who I am. My look is "grunge inspired"
I love Music. I don't like public transports.
My message to the world: Be proud of what you are ..."
I wear a vintage Jacket by Lee Cooper
Tunic by Zara
Jeans self-customised by Levis
Platform Shoes by New Look
Perfume: " Amor Amor Sunrise" by Cacharel
I love Music. I don't like public transports.
My message to the world: Be proud of what you are ..."
I wear a vintage Jacket by Lee Cooper
Tunic by Zara
Jeans self-customised by Levis
Platform Shoes by New Look
Perfume: " Amor Amor Sunrise" by Cacharel
Lieu: La Panfoulia - Le Marais
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